So I have made the decision I am going to try to keep up with blogging and I've even started a new page about the books I read. So much has happened from the last time I posted. And I sometimes get into these moods where I remember I have a blog and get really into it, and then I begin to neglect it after awhile. This time I will try to make different and stay on top of things. Let's see...the last time I posted on the blog was back in April 2010...and it's September!
The long and the short of it...we found out we were pregnant again on May 19th...a few weeks later we had our first ultrasound and saw it was just one this time...enter a few meltdowns here...the doctor has me coming in every 2 weeks to measure my cervix to ensure it doesn't fail on me again, and so far so good...I'm 21 weeks pregnant so more than half way down...we found out "officially" on the 9th of this month we are having a boy (this was after 2 guesses the previous weeks by the u/s techs and we were pretty confident)...our baby boy cooking will be named Oliver Crosby Minges (decided before we ever found out we were pregnant again)...Justin has had a few more tri's and a 160 mile bike ride since then and survived...I've started selling Pampered Chef and I'm getting the experience of being my own boss and having my own business...and we have 4 months left before Oliver will be here and we can't wait, but we will...very patiently. We want him to be on time and healthy!
And that's what you missed.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Letting go...and Triathlons!
So I know blogging will probably help with a lot of things I got going on in my head, but I have a hard time just letting go to the internet universe. I know it needs to get out there somewhere and maybe someone would be able to relate...I just don't know.
So I figure I'll start here...one version of therapy, laughing! Just because it is something I am currently doing...Tosh.O is hilarious!!! It is definitely one show Justin and I can watch together and laugh our butts off. For those who have never seen it, you should check it out. It comes on Wednesdays at 10ish on comedy central. Well we think it's funny. Others we can laugh at are: How I Met Your Mother, Accidentally On Purpose, Big Bang Theory, and Cougar Town (well that one is mainly for me)!
Sometimes it just takes too much energy to think about all the bad things that can or have happened, and it's nice to just let go!
Whew!
Also, Justin had his first triathlon for the season yesterday and finished it in 1:16...then, we came home and planted our vegetable garden. So we are halfway done with that and are waiting until we can find the other plants we want to put in there. (Pictures to come) Next weekend we are going to Vegas for Kevin's 21st birthday and it's going to be a blast! We can't wait!
So I figure I'll start here...one version of therapy, laughing! Just because it is something I am currently doing...Tosh.O is hilarious!!! It is definitely one show Justin and I can watch together and laugh our butts off. For those who have never seen it, you should check it out. It comes on Wednesdays at 10ish on comedy central. Well we think it's funny. Others we can laugh at are: How I Met Your Mother, Accidentally On Purpose, Big Bang Theory, and Cougar Town (well that one is mainly for me)!
Sometimes it just takes too much energy to think about all the bad things that can or have happened, and it's nice to just let go!
Whew!
Also, Justin had his first triathlon for the season yesterday and finished it in 1:16...then, we came home and planted our vegetable garden. So we are halfway done with that and are waiting until we can find the other plants we want to put in there. (Pictures to come) Next weekend we are going to Vegas for Kevin's 21st birthday and it's going to be a blast! We can't wait!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Denial
One of the many stages of what they call the 5 stages of grief a person is supposed to go thru. Little do many people know it's not in any kind of order and one can stay in a stage for a short amount of time...or forever. Denial is a stage of grief which makes it so much easier to cope, but at the same time dodges every feeling you are ever supposed to have. One lesson which is hard to learn no matter how many times it slaps you in the face is you can deny or dodge for awhile but the pain always resurfaces...always. And sometimes it's in the least "convenient" way possible.
Right now I have been dodging every feeling I am supposed to have from losing my children. It just seems easier every day to act like it never happened or like I'm telling someone else's story. It is easier for me to pretend than to allow reality to present itself in my consciousness. As I'm visiting my friends I have not seen since I was a couple months pregnant I tell them about how I'm doing and how Justin is doing and it just feels like I'm telling a friend's story or a story I heard about someone else. I don't know if this is something I do on purpose or if it is something I just do without thinking. And then there are moments when I am alone driving in my car and it just hits me...I'm supposed to be in the percentage of my friends who are enjoying their children. Who get to run all over the place to chase after my toddlers. And then I remember..those toddlers I was so excited about raising and chasing all over the house are not here. And I get this empty feeling. Then I remember how to make it stop...deny it ever happened. People have said the reason why a person does this is because their body and mind can only handle so much so it ignores what is really going on in order to survive. I guess this explains it, why people deny their reality...it's the only way to survive the horrible things that happen to us.
Right now I have been dodging every feeling I am supposed to have from losing my children. It just seems easier every day to act like it never happened or like I'm telling someone else's story. It is easier for me to pretend than to allow reality to present itself in my consciousness. As I'm visiting my friends I have not seen since I was a couple months pregnant I tell them about how I'm doing and how Justin is doing and it just feels like I'm telling a friend's story or a story I heard about someone else. I don't know if this is something I do on purpose or if it is something I just do without thinking. And then there are moments when I am alone driving in my car and it just hits me...I'm supposed to be in the percentage of my friends who are enjoying their children. Who get to run all over the place to chase after my toddlers. And then I remember..those toddlers I was so excited about raising and chasing all over the house are not here. And I get this empty feeling. Then I remember how to make it stop...deny it ever happened. People have said the reason why a person does this is because their body and mind can only handle so much so it ignores what is really going on in order to survive. I guess this explains it, why people deny their reality...it's the only way to survive the horrible things that happen to us.
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